- Anti Joke

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.

-6

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

-6

Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

-6

theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

-6

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

-8

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

-8

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

-8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

In soviet russia, roses are violet

Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

A man... walks.

Chuck norris

[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

Anti Joke

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MOAR??