In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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Poop

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops