I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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