A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

Women's rights

How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

Hitler

obama's promises

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

OIO

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

raisin boogers

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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