The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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falling didnt make the difference

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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