How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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The Game.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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