George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

Why did the dog eat poop?

Sometimes I question my sanity... Occasionally it replies.

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

this is not an anti joke

What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

kill yourself

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

Women's rights

my whole life!

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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