Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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You have friends

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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Penis

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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you and your family will die tonight

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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