A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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