What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops