where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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my gramma died

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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