what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock *opens the door*

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops