What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

i have to pee out my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

thumb_up thumb_down -32

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whos the bitch now!?! you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

thumb_up thumb_down -36

knock knock who's there Steve Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops