Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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69

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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