(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ask me if im a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a woman votes!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops