WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

This is a random Anti joke.

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

I killed someone on minecraft.

What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

your mother

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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