How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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