Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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