what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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