No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops