Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

oooh look a banshee

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

this is not a joke. jks

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

thumb_up thumb_down -22

three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops