Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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