Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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