knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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Keanu Reaves

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops