Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops