Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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