Please? No.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Morning wood.

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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a man is running away

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im gey

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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