Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once upon a time

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

TWIX PAUSE!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the hungry man do? He ate.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops