A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

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Apple juice.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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