If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops