Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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