an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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