Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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Carrot fingers

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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