An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

Do you like apples? Yes

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

An epileptic man attends a rave.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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