What's under the first mate? The second mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -13

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a young man? a little boy

thumb_up thumb_down -15

once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops