What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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This is an anti joke

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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