How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

thumb_up thumb_down +16

give me a thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

thumb_up thumb_down +14

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops