If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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