Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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A dyslexic blind man

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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