How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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Autism speaks but not really

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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British Dentistry

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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NAACP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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