How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +17

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops