What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops