The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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My parents have an open marriage.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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69

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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The dewey decimal system

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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