My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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