Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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