What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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Your mom is fat

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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whats one plus one penis

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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