So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

Politics

What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

Chuck Norris Dies.

Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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