Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hello everyone, if you couldnt tell, the most popular joke was removed because it wasnt even an antijoke, if you have a joke that isnt an antijoke, post it somewhere else, if you dont know what an antijoke even is then get the f*ck out, thumbs up if you agree with me

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops