- Anti Joke

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

Hi

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.