There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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