Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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