A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops