How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Your all fags

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Your mom is so fat...

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Mormons having fun.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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