How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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full house

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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